Sunday, June 19, 2016

this could take a while...

twenty sixteen has not started out as my favorite year.  granted, it has been full of lessons and reminders – but not my favorite.

that happens as we grow up doesn’t it?  and if you’re anything like me – and you’ve decided that growing up will be a life long endeavor, it’s probably going to happen more than once.  as a matter of fact, if we’re lucky (lucky…really?) it will happen a bunch of times, because the things that are not our favorite can teach us the most about…well, about everything.

so. 2016, not really a fan.  not 100% sure how to deal with it, definitely don’t want to be a grownup about it, and the plans on plans on plans I had to improve it keep falling through.  why does that happen so often?  why is it that for so many of us, the things we had planned, all of the things we dreamed come crashing down at the worst possible time?

because we let it.

this could take a while...
“write again” they said, “take more pictures” they said…well all right, you asked for it.

for those of you that know me, you will probably agree that I have taken a strange path to becoming “grownup”.  I was 30 by the time I was 18, and then I was 21 when I was 30.  I march to the beat of my very own, very eclectic, probably ADHD drummer.  however, that path has afforded me some of the most amazing experiences I can imagine.  I have met people who have changed my life.  been to places I will never forget, and had my heart broken in ways I didn’t think I could survive.  but I’m still here. 

throughout the years I have been surrounded by people who have been hyper focused.  be it on money, on success or on happiness – but I have a hard time being hyper focused on any of those things, because I just don’t think that’s real life.  I mean, go on with your five-year plan, work your ass off in your 60+ hour workweek, or just do you…but doesn’t there have to be some sort of balance between having it all worked out, and simply seeing what happens regardless of how scary?  isn’t there something to be said for taking chances that could end in any myriad of ways? (this is where my ADHD drummer starts playing way off course).

I am incredibly lucky.  I knew what I wanted to do as a human at a very young age.  I landed a wonderful job, in a place in which friends surrounded me – and I was happy.  These days I get to do something I love each and every day, and I realize how rare that is.  I have watched my friends grow, change, and move on – and it has been a pleasure to see their lives evolve.  But the question remains…when is it my turn? did I miss it? did I screw it up? is my drummer on crack?

I can look back on the first few months of 2016 and focus on the suck.  I can focus on the heartbreak, and the negativity that surrounds the day to day.  I can focus on the plans that fell through, didn’t work out, or just weren’t good enough.  Or, stay with me here, I can focus on how the suck is most likely prepping me for something awesome.  How, even though my drummer is TOTALLY on crack – so what; we all make mistakes.  Because at the end of the day, you either focus on what separates you – or you focus on what holds you together.  This is true in relationships, it is true professionally, but most importantly – it should be true personally. 

I don’t want to be the kind of person who focuses on the negative - I have never wanted that.  That doesn’t mean the negative doesn’t exist – it is there, full force, but it is there for a reason.  Focus on what is good, what was good, or even just what could be good and take chances.  Trust the drummer, ADHD be damned, and keep marching.

I am a very lucky gal being surrounded by so many people this year that let me get a little lost, let me lose my cool, and still continued to show me that wherever I ended up – it would be right.  I am incredibly lucky knowing that because of these people, I am reminded that I always knew how to be content, to be happy, to be fulfilled without constantly surrounding myself with someone else.  I am so lucky that as i grew up, I was supported and never pushed to make decisions about my life based on what others wanted.  That what I truly want out of life – not what others think I want, or should want - is what makes me, ME.  That kind of freedom is scary as hell – but I am so appreciative.

These next few months will include very little of what I had planned.  They will include almost none of what I dreamed this summer would entail – but I guarantee they will be an adventure, filled with completely terrifying ups and downs, decisions that could go awry, and hopefully moments that continue to remind me that this path, is mine. stay tuned.

welcome back one a day.  the biggest misnomer of all time – but whatever.

Sunday, September 9, 2012

a month?


9.9.12

So while in Japan, I let loose to my brother that I thought this blog was the stupidest idea I had ever had.  The photos I love taking, but the writing, while I love to do that as well, is just flat out annoying. 

It has been a month.  How THE HELL did that happen?  I spent some time babysitting the neighbors’ hermit crabs.  Is it bad that now I want one?  My apartment is in shambles, and my dependence on caffeine is going strong.  Year 7, in classroom 6 has begun.  Typical beginning of year exhaustion has set in.  The air con in my new room is bitchin’ and I have instructed the kids to bring sweatshirts. 

I painted the bathroom.  It’s a very small room, I like painting and I wanted a change.  I don’t normally dig change (har har har) so the smallest room possible seemed like a good place to start.  Don’t ever paint anything cabbage green – it’s gross.  Mint Hint has turned out to be a much better choice.

I am doing my darndest to keep a positive spin on this year.  The looming changes that could be rumors but probably aren’t make that tricky…but I’m trying.  The air conditioning helps.

Thursday, August 16, 2012

it's been a while. oops.


Yeah so uh…this will be a cheating post.  Things get busy in the summer when you are planning a trip, then on a trip, then recovering from a trip.

Japan is not a place I would go on my own.  Thankfully I am unbelievably lucky and I have family there.  My big brother (the younger of the big brothers) lives there with his wife and their two BEAUTIFUL tiny people.  I have been fortunate enough to see some amazing sites there, as well as spend time with the kick ass family.

This trip was an excellent one.  (Sorry I brought the serious heat Mayumi!)  The highlights are innumerable, but I’ll give you a few…

- Louis is 4, talking up a storm, and totally into Japanese folk tales.  Momotaro and Issun-boshi are his favorites.
- Mana is in that perfect chubby baby stage where she smiles and drools all the time
- Mike still picks his nose.
- The green seats on the Shinkansen are AWESOME
- The food in Japan…shabu-shabu, peppers with cheese and bacon, rice with eggs and chicken and stuff. oh god yum.
- Hiroshima is a heavy place to visit, but is absolutely beautiful

On a separate note, Air Canada is a great way to fly.  Just saying.  You have to drink Molson, but they are free – so whatevo.

For those of you who know me…I am unbelievably sensitive to jetlag.  I know, I’m a wimp.  But I have been fluctuating between falling asleep in the middle of the day, waking up in the middle of the night, or just rising with the sun…because really why not?

I have FINALLY for the past two days been able to sleep until the alarm goes off at 8am.  Progress is a beautiful thing.  Coming back to CT after a few weeks with my brutha and the Lou Man was tough.  Going back to school to unpack the classroom (again) is annoying – but it appears this coming year is starting off on the right foot.

knock on wood.

(ps. here is the cheating part…click on this link for all the pics )

 

Friday, July 27, 2012

pre-trip



7.20.12

in the days leading up to a trip there are lots of things I should be doing.  I should be making sure things around the boulevard are settled.  the place is clean – so when I return the spiders and bugs have not completely taken over.   

7.20.12
I should make sure that the laundry is put away so it is not piled on the bed.  however, it almost always happens the same way. it’s not like I forget that I’m leaving – but that I choose to ignore it.   

7.21.12


why on earth would I want to pack and clean when I could get burgers at tucker’s, watch multiple episodes of gossip girl, go to the beach, or spend large sums of money? 

7.22.12
Again, I procrastinate.  it truly is an art form, and I will do it in any way possible.  prior to this trip my days were absolutely full with things I totally did not have to do.  

including, and not limited to a trip to goodwill, some time at home depot, a massive amount of shredding, and a well timed trip to target. of course the dudes who are replacing the bathroom need bottles of water – it’s just a nice thing to do.


I finally started, and finished packing around 3am on Wednesday morning.   
7.23.12

7.24.12
The car picked me up at 5:15.  thankfully, the second leg of my flight was pretty empty and I got a double seat to myself.   

7.25.12
Dear Air Canada, you rock. lovekate.

 








Friday, July 20, 2012

Thursday

7.19.12 
7.19.12

sometimes I forget things in NH. woops.

Wednesday

7.18.12 
7.18.12

grilled cheese board? yes. yes please.

Tuesday

7.17.12 

7.17.12

apparently the painters didn’t feel like putting these back on. cool.