drive like a dan

5.7.12

1. drive like a dan

the act of driving like a fucktard. Usually involves crashing into lamp posts outside of Green Hope, clapping to songs while taking turns, and looking ugly; anyone who sucks terrible balls at driving.

Hey Alex, weren't you in the car with Dan? yeah he hit that pole. He drives like a dan. Dude don't drive like a dan.

-Urban Dictionary

5.7.12

My brothers taught me how to drive.  My old man had a few trips when I needed to hit the actual road, my mother wanted nothing to do with it, but my brothers were all about it.  I practiced parking in the driveway.  I learned to use my mirrors like a ninja, and with the exception of the speed limit, I now follow all the rules of the road.  “Don’t drive like a girl Kate, it’s the worst thing you could do”.  I can’t quite remember Michael’s exact words to me in the parking lot of the Walpole school as he was teaching me to conquer hills without burning the clutch like the pits of Tartarus; and I’m sure it was much more offensive – but the lesson was clear.  I was not allowed to drive like a “*&%#tard”

I drive too fast.  I am super impatient.  I talk to the cars around me in frustration as if they can hear me, and as if it will do me any good.  I have stopped throwing my hands in the air when I’m angered by stupid drivers, but really only because it could be the parents of one of my students, and that would be bad.  While all this is true, I also use my blinker when changing lanes.  I check my blind spot often.  I pay attention to the flow of traffic around me, and if someone is riding my arse (after the initial anger has worn off) I do my best to get out of their way.  I also stay on my side of the road, because frankly – and I suppose I could be wrong here – I feel that’s probably the most important rule.  I admittedly take the speed limit as a suggestion, but those yellow lines are something we should pay attention to.  I live in an area where most people drive like dans, but I would be interested to know when the meaning of a double solid yellow line went the way of the dodo.